A Rapid Expansion

No, the title of this post is not another reference to my waistline.

The title refers to something that truly mystifies me about humans. We're so smart when we're young, minds like dry sponges thirsting for anything new to quench our curiosity. I read on PBSParents.org that kids Henry's age (2 years) are capable of learning 10 or more new words, context and all, EVERY DAY.

I read this and, of course, I am thinking, "My kid only learns 9.3 words per day, what the hell is wrong with him?" OK, not really. I realize he's learning new vocabulary constantly, but somehow it always startles me when he says something I've never heard.

This morning, while laying on his back getting his diaper changed, Henry said to me, "Daddy, look! The ceiling fan is round!"

um, what?!

I was planning until he matured a little until I introduced advanced concepts like "floor" and "ceiling", but whatever. Kidding aside, I had no idea that he knew the word "round" much less an ability to apply the term to familiar objects. UberDaddy was in absolute awe. All I could do was say, "You're so smart, I love you" and kiss his soft cheek.

We have begun a whole new stage. The stage that begins with, "Daddy, what's that?" EVERYTHING now needs a name.

By the way, when the hell did he learn how to use verbs properly? You parents out there that deny your kid Sesame Street are doing you kid an incredible disservice. Remember that I am the absolute authority on parenting, so don't waste your time arguing. Sesame Street introduces a wide variety of concepts in warm, loving ways. Music, art, relationships, numbers, letters, nutrition... and incredibly importantly, humor. He loves to laugh at Cookie Monster (and NO, Henry doesn't expect cookies for breakfast now, like one of my friends is convinced will happen).

Then there is Elmo. If you haven't taken the time to actually WATCH and episode of Elmo's World, you must. It's goddam hilarious. Seriously, and I'm not smoking anything, the show is brilliant. To all the anti-capitalist, way-too-far-left parents out there who think such things poison the purity of their child's brain: you are missing out, and so is your kid. It has become extremely clear to me that Sesame Street in particular, but further all of PBS kids TV in general, is a tremendous language and concept learning opportunity that should be harnessed, not dismissed. All without violence or advertizing, and you can't beat that.

Am I an engaged, deliberate parent? Yes. Do I let my kid watch Elmo on TV? Absolutely. And you should too.
My personal favorite is the world-traveling Super Grover. That guy has the right idea, like UberDaddy. Nothing wrong with being a self-proclaimed superhero, right?

Now where's my cape?